Chocolate and Conversation

My Knight Fell Off His Horse

Me talking to my husband in our bathroom: When can you be my knight in shining armor and scrub this toilet?

Andrew: (Chuckles... but doesn't answer)

Me: Rephrase.When can I expect you to gallantly fight my battle for me against the toilet?

Andrew: Hmm... You may expect that this weekend.

Me: Oh, good...

Incidentally, he hurt his back while shoveling the snow. I mean, he really disabled himself.
I guess the toilet might have to wait until my knight gets back on his horse.

Venting

Before we bought a car for Andrew to use for school, he took public transportation the first year we were here. During which time, he brought home 4 different phone numbers of Chinese women who saw him reading Chinese on the transit and struck up a conversation with him. After learning his wife is Chinese and we have 4 children that speak Chinese, the women would hand him their numbers and ask to have me call them so we could get together. I am sure my husband must have left great first impressions. I am beginning to realize that I really don't have any Chinese friends.

I left Taiwan at age 15, so my Chinese language skills are limited. There are many great pieces of Chinese literature that I haven't even read. Once my sister and I met a Westerner who was on a plane going back to Taiwan, she had studied Chinese for many many years, and she was telling us about all the great classics she read over the years. None of which my sister and I had ever read. To be honest, it's a strain to be speaking to my kids in Chinese constantly, I often have to stop and think about the words or phrases in Chinese myself. Andrew and I are doing our best to teach our kids the language; unfortunately, we really stumble sometimes.

Parents who worry that their children might get behind in school so they never teach children their native tongue are doing a huge disservice to their kids. Parents who are embarrassed to speak their mother tongue to their children for fear of getting funny looks or of what others might think of the language are fools. I once had a friend who told me it's rude to speak Chinese in front of her because she doesn't know what we are saying. I think if I choose to speak Chinese only when it's socially convenient or acceptable than my kids will pick up on our insecurity and will not want to speak anymore. I think anyone who thinks it's rude that someone speaks a different language in front of them because of their own lack of understanding is foolish too.

Due to homesickness, I went back home for 2 months during the my first year in Canada. One day on the street during my visit, I saw a foreigner being circled about by probably 7 or 8 Chinese, all trying to speak English to him. I can only imagine he probably felt very welcomed and accepted in Taiwan with such hospitality. I felt angry and sour (I was young), because where I went, there was no one there to befriend me or to teach me English. No one cared if I was new in the country. I felt like I'd better pick up the slack and learn my English if I wanted to converse with anyone or do anything. I know there are Westerners in Taiwan or other parts of Asia who never learn much of the new language and they function just fine with people always willing to help. I am not saying people who come to this country shouldn't learn English. I just never seem to find such tolerance and understanding in this country for those who are struggling with the language.

My sister's husband is a CBC (Canadian-Born Chinese), his Chinese is not real great. One time when my parents visited them, he served them hot dogs with a side of pickles. My Dad took one glance at the food and said to my mom, "Let's pack up and take the first available flight home."

In Chinese culture, there is a principle of behavior that is very important relating to how people treat their elders, often translated as "filial piety" (it's quite a bit weightier than the Western concept of respect); serving hot dogs to Chinese parents would definitely violate this.

When my parents visited us, we served them hot rice porridge for breakfast with an accompanying assortment of small dishes. Then their white son in law sat down with them and heartily ate bowl after bowl of it. And if my dad slurped, Andrew happily slurped right along with him.... what a duo.

I do have to say, Chinese people really don't expect a Caucasian to really be Chinese. As long as you can speak a few broken Chinese phrases and are willing to try a little bit of strange food, they will whole-heartedly love and accept you for trying.

I love my heritage and am proud of so much goodness from this culture. But there are so many silly pretenses that just don't make sense. Many years ago, I saw my mom do something that is a very Chinese thing to do but very silly in my opinion, and I asked her why she did it even when it doesn't make any sense. She just said, it is because it is socially acceptable, so we've got to do it. I don't agree with that. I never understood that part of my culture, so I never really fit in. I think a cultural heritage is there to add layers and depth to an individual. But it should not bind us down or in any way define us.

In fine, being Chinese is a strange thing: you can look like Chinese without really being Chinese (like my brother-in-law and the rebellious part of me). Or you can look nothing like it when you really are (ie: my husband... partly because he speaks Chinese almost without an accent - but mostly because he enjoys slurping.)

Sage - Still Fabulous

Sage, having just finished eating one candy cane, is attempting to get another candy cane out of its box.

Me: "Sage, one is enough."

Sage: "You should be like the TV says. 'Don't get mad, get Glad'."

While I laugh my heart out, she takes another candy cane out of the box and sneaks away...

Some Sage-ful thought

I am up early nowadays making breakfast for a middle schooler and catching a moment of conversation with her before she goes out the door to catch the morning bus.

There is nothing about waking up early that I like, but I do like my daughter to know I care enough about her to wake up with her. And I don't want her to wake up to a dark house and have to eat cold cereal by herself.

There was nothing I liked about waking up early, until I noticed a repeated pattern happening every morning in my house. There I am in the kitchen half awake making breakfast, sometimes talking to Jade quietly, when I hear a pair of little feet going "stomp", "stomp", "stomp" down the stairs. Listening to the sound, I know those little feet are not walking, they are sliding to the edge of each step and then hopping down lightly to the next. Then I will look up in anticipation, until I see a pink-faced, bright-smiled little girl peek her head out from where the stairs disappear behind the wall.

Our eyes find each other.

Then she always says with a burst of laugher: "MOM-mmee, I am awake!"

Oh, yes she is. Then she hops down the rest of the stairs and runs to me for a tight squeeze and a fresh morning kiss.
How I love my baby Sage.

I tell her so, that she is my baby. To this, she looks at me straight faced and says to me very solemnly: "I've grown up. I am a child."

I look at her, and I know she is right.

The other day I took her to a fast food place to meet a friend (gosh darn me, after my previous post I still dare to feed her fast food), and she was playing in the play place and was trying to solve some issue about a child not willing to share. Not successfully. She turned around, surveying the moms who were sitting nearby, and announced with gusto: "I need a mommy now!"

She is in Sunbeams this year. I get to see all of my kids on Sundays in primary. I cherish that. But inside I am feeling like an empty nester.

I heard her saying this to her teacher in sharing time:
"After she (the girl giving a talk) is done, is it my turn?"
"No."
Sigh. "I am so beautiful."

Sage- She is an old soul trapped in a small body.

My quiet morning with Jade quickly vanishes with Sage greeting the world with unceasing chattering and questioning until my ears are full of her little voice. I beg: "Can you please stop talking for a minute?"
Yet, she talks and talks and talks...

I know she will grow out of that eventually, she will want to talk more to her friends on the phone than to me. But for now, I am thankful I am still the first person she wants to see first thing every morning. And to tell you the truth, she has a wonderfully cute voice even if it does hurt my ear and my nerves.

Americanize Me

I love Costco. I am a big fan.
I love their salmon, especially the ones with skin still on, my kids love the skin more than the fish itself. When it's done well, the skin is crispy like crackers. I love their red snapper, you have to scale the fish at home, but if you stuff them with lemon and herbs and pan fry them, it's most divine!!
I also love Costco's mushrooms, English cucumbers, organic spring mix, and their fingerling potatoes.

When Costco first announced it's intention to open in Japan, I was sure it will gain loyal customers, because it's Costco and who doesn't like Costco. Yet I admit I can't help but feeling somewhat skeptical. After all, we are talking about a nation with the healthiest eating habits that produces the healthiest people on earth. And this is what I know about Japanese: Everything they do is small. They have very small homes (to store bulk), they have very few children (to be buying bulk), they drive small cars, they buy food in small quantities and they buy them fresh.

Of course, I suspected Costco did their research too, and somehow was able to educate the Japanese public on the goodness of the American way: Biggie size everything.
I am not making fun, I am merely stating a fact. I am a proud carrier of a Costco card, I am an executive member to be exact. (That means I spent enough money to pay extra for the upgrade)

Costco became a huge hit in Japan, right on the opening day!

Years ago, I visited Taiwan after long years of absence, and was shocked to learn that many of the elementary school kids there are joining after-school "weight losing" classes. The media pointed their finger at McDonald's, saying childhood obesity and diabetes only occurred in Asia after the invasion of McDonald's. But only just a few years before that, McDonald's restaurants were shutting down one after another in Taiwan for lack of business. How did they resurrect from the dead ? To fix the problem, McDonald's started serving hot Chinese lunch boxes and authethic Chinese tea for parents or grandparents who are not accustomed to eating Western food. This was clever marketing, because when adults are given "edible" food at McDonalds, there is no more reason to not bring their youngsters in for a "happy meal."

And to boost their business some more, they started free lunch delivery services to any elementary school as long as a parent requests it. So it has become a very popular lunch choice among the school age kids.

Parents in Taiwan weren't given options to buy school lunches, because they didn't exist back then. When I was in school, we brought home lunches very day, we got rice, some meat, or fish and vegetables and they were laid in tin lunch containers with tin lids. And every morning before 1st period started, kids put their lunch boxes into a big stainless steel box and two students from each classrooms would carry the big box into the school kitchen, the lunch was then steamed and ready by lunch time. Everyone brought home lunches, no one ever thought of eating anything else.There were no brownies or cookies with our lunches either, water was the beverage. I heard kids in Taiwan all eat school lunches now, but they consist of real fresh foods and vegetables, and all served hot. No one has heard of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

I found this little clip online on school lunches in other countries, I find it fascinating. I wish our kids in this country get to sample such delicious food for their lunches.

"In Finland, in the 80's, food at our school was served family style w/ a big bowl of grub set on tables that held about 12 students and 1 teacher. My favorite was salmon and potato casserole; my least, blood pancakes and pea soup on Thursdays. The breads were excellent. With the bowl of fresh apples was also a bowl of peelers to take off the insecticide laden skin.
"In a private school in Bolivia a major 3 course lunch was served. As there were few canned and no frozen food in such a poor country, everything was fresh and made from scratch.Soup was prepared daily, the fried chicken and rice w/ strawberry pie for dessert was my favorite and I can't remember anything I didn't like. I wish I had some photos. At morning break, I loved the chicken saltenas and strawberry baltidos.
In the 90's back in Maine, the price of lobsters was so low, both my wife's and my elementary schools both served lobster stew! And the kids threw it out!" - Passadumkeg, commenting on Chowhound at http://chowhound.chow.com/topics/624197#4740585

I remember my father took us to the first ever McDonald's when it opened in Taiwan. I don't remember what meal I ate, but I remember eating a hot fudge sundae afterwards, and I remember how the hot fudge was gooey and it stuck to my mouth. And I remembered it being too sweet, none of us finished it. But now, my taste has become Americanized, a hot fudge sundae - I can finish it all by myself.

I was appalled when I learned that Starbucks crept its way into the famous Forbidden City in China. Thankfully, someone started a crusade against the store, saying "it marred the solemnity of the Forbidden City and undermined Chinese culture." I couldn't have said it better or agreed with it more. Starbucks closed its lease in the Forbidden City in 2007, after 7 long years of operation there. I am not mad at Starbucks, I am mad at the dim-witted Chinese person/people who ever allowed such notion.

I love America, and as you can plainly see, so does the rest of the world. I think the world has this romantic notion that everything from America must be wonderful so everyone wants a little bit of that wonderfulness in some way. A little bit of America in your country means you are now more modernized and upperclass.
Eventually, the entire world will all end up eating a Costco diet, enjoying an assortment of burgers from McDonald's and drinking Starbucks and speaking English.
Actually, isn't that already happening?

(The Costco in Taiwan also has beef bake, and it's a more popular choice than chicken)

Unmatched Socks

I have collected a small pile of socks that don't have matches.
The other day as I was tossing more unpaired socks onto the pile, I turned to Andrew and just said: "I wonder what happened to the other socks?"
He said: "You've never heard 'The dryer ate them' ?"
Upon hearing that, I busted out laughing, and commented that it was no wonder I had ever lost any socks in Taiwan.

No one had a dryer in Taiwan, or perhaps in all of Asia, at least not in my generation. I remember how my mom would place long sticks of bamboo horizontally way over head on the balcony for drying clothes. We even had a long stick of bamboo with a metal prong on one end that looked kind of like a letter Y, so we could use it to lift and take down clothes.
That was what we did growing up, so did everyone else.
On beautiful summer days, if you were down on the streets and looking up, shirts, sheets, pants, towel would be flying gently on the bamboo sticks secured by wooden or plastic cloth pins. For undergarments, they were hung on a bamboo stick only about hip high for privacy.
I loved taking down clothes after they've been dried in the summer heat, they smelled of sunshine and freshness.
And on wintery days, we still line dry our clothes. We especially watched out on rainy days, which happens a lot. Sometimes we had to take the clothes into the house to dry; when that happens, we just had to improvise.
In the winter, the clothes that finally get dried are stiff, they don't have that lovely touch or smell. And if we were preoccupied and waited past 5 o'clock in the afternoon to get to our dried clothes, the humidity would get into them, then all our efforts would be frustrated. I think it was just such a big job to get the clothes all dried in the winter months, so when my mom shouted "Hurry, it's 5 o'clock!" we all just understood the severity of the situation and dropped everything to help taking down the clothes.
It was just a way of life, we did it, and my parents are still doing it. So is everyone else in Asia and other parts of the world. I dare say 'missing socks' is only largely a Western phenomenon, and especially an America phenomenon.

There is an old Chinese saying,"Watch heaven and eat rice." It relates to people in olden times who are mostly farmers, and that farmers can only do as well as the heaven would bless them to do. I think it kind of applies to drying clothes on the balcony.

I just found this article called: Is your clothesline illegal, to read click HERE

The Princess and the Pauper

Sage got this DVD as a Christmas present. She loves it as expected. And so do her older sisters (not expected). Since the first premiere of this DVD in my house, it has been played over and over quite a few times with my two older girls singing at the top of their lungs,
with the movie,
after the movie,
and all the rest of the day.
And even on days when this movie is not watched.
(Note: This is a musical. And Barbie's first.)

I asked my 11 year old Jade why she likes this Barbie movie in particular, to which she replies excitedly: "This movie has a twist to it." ...Apparently she has not been exposed to too many movies.

The other day, the kids asked to watch a movie, and all the girls again requested this one. I looked at the girls and then Kirin who was sitting quietly by me and decided to put my foot down for him. I told the girls they have been watching too much of this one movie and they must let their brother Kirin decide what to watch. After a few protests and whining by the girls, Kirin stepped in to the DVD shelf and started looking through our selections. A moment later, he turned to me and said: "Mom, I don't really care what they watch." You mean, you don't mind if they want to watch "The princess and the pauper" again? "No, I don't care."

So the girls got their way. Kirin sat by them quietly and watched the whole thing again for the nth time.

The next night, while the girls were upstairs getting ready for bed, Kirin was finishing up his project in the living room alone when we heard faint singing coming from him:

"I close my eyes and feel myself fly a thousand miles away
I could take flight but would it be right, my conscience tells me stay.
I'll remine forever royal, I'll repay my parents' debt
Duty means doing the things your heart may well regret..."

Aspen turned to Jade and said, "Listen sister, Kirin is singing from the movie."
Jade said: "Shh, don't say anything, don't make fun of him."
Andrew just shook his head.
I thought it was kinda charming. But couldn't help worry just a little.

Then the next day, he finished making one of this all by himself.

All is well again.