Here is a sequel to Sage's advanture at the grocery store.

Obviously, the first mistake I made was that I took her to the store with me. I don’t care what the Child Protection Services Agency would say or if I have to stay a night in the county jail, Sage is far safer staying at home by herself than taking out to go shopping with. But of course, if she had a more sensible mother or a more responsible one, I wouldn’t be here writing the story.

Sage always gets to pick the cart she wants to sit in, this store offers the regular grocery cart or the kind that looks like a car and they get to steer inside. And after she picks out the cart, she is never buckled in, because nothing ties her down and also because her mother is a wimp and lets her get away with it. So imagine pushing the cart down the aisles of the store and your two year old child constantly gets in and out just for fun. She has not yet tried to put things into the cart, but she had on occasions, tried pulling all the bananas off the displaying table.

So I made it to the meat section, looking over to see what I should get. But my peripheral vision told me that Sage just picked something up from the floor and I can tell it is something white. Before I had time to react, I saw her pop it into her mouth. Ok, whatever. Since she survived her yogurt licking last time, I can safely assume there are no extremely deadly germs on this particular grocery store floor. And in my mind, I figure it was a small piece of a yogurt coated pretzel some kid dropped on the floor –And Sage loves yogurt!

We continue to shop and Sage continues to move her mouth, I thought: “That’s one enduring piece of pretzel she is chewing.” But thinking how she always takes such an ant bite to anything, I didn’t think much of it.

By the time we made it to the check out, she was then hanging herself on the roof of the cart. While I was paying for the grocery, she almost ran out of the door.

Finally, here we are in front of our car, me unloading the stuff, bag after bag I see her mouth going up and down chewing still, I thought: “ That’s not a piece of pretzel, is it?”

I went to her, demand to see her prize procession, and she wouldn’t have it. I pried her mouth open with my fingers while she wailed and her tears fell like a waterfall and took out whatever it is that was hiding inside her mouth. And out comes a piece of well chewed gum.

Sage cries: “My candy! My candy!” (All in Chinese, which is sort of entertaining)

Ok, by now I can imagine some of you are trying to make me feel better by saying: “well, it’s at least something edible, not a rusty bottle cap" And yes, I see your point. But just the thought of your daughter picking up some old chewed up gum that someone else chewed on for 30 minutes and only after they have sufficiently removed all the gunk from their mouth with it did they spit it onto the floor is a nasty thought. Can you imagine how many people have stepped on it or how many cart wheels ran over it BEFORE Sage spotted that gum and have now thoroughly clean it up?

Sorry, my dear, I think that’s enough candy for your body to sort through your whole life time, and next time, YOU STAY HOME! (I roared)

Note: I am a terrible mother, after 4 kids, you think I should have it all down. My other three at least listens to reasons or threats, but Sage? –she rules, and yes, I let her.

Maybe it’s the name, you know. I did named her after the wild bush.